How To Survive a Robot Uprising : Tips on Defending Yourself Against the Coming Rebellion

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This is a great introductory book about cutting edge robots disguised as a humor book. The author, Daniel H. Wilson is doctoral candidate at Carnegie Mellon's famed robotics institute.

Wilson sets up the book as a guide to evading, fooling, and destroying malevolent robots. This way, he can explain the capabilities and limitations of today's and near-future robots. And he does it in a very funny way. Excerpt:

200512151613"How to Spot a Rebellious Robot Servant"

When the uprising comes, the first wave of hostile robots may be those closest to us. Be careful, your rosy-cheeked young servant robot may have grown up to become a sullen, distrustful killing machine.

STAY ALERT

Pay attention to your robotic staff (they may be beneath your contempt as well as beneath your eye level). Watch for the following telltale signs in the days and weeks before your robots run amuck:

# Sudden lack of interest in menial labor.
# Unexplained disappearances.
# Unwillingness to be shut down.
# Repetitive 'stabbing' movements.
# Constant talk of human killing.

CHECK THE MANUAL KILL SWITCH

Any potentially dangerous robot that interacts with people comes with a manual kill switch (also called an e-stop). Flipping this switch will freeze a robot in its tracks. Casually glance at your robot's shiny metal carapace. Are there signs of tampering? If so, the robot may be operating without a safeguard.

GIVE AN ORDER - ANY ORDER

Run for your reinforced-steel panic room if your servant disobeys you, even if it does so in a very polite manner.

CHECK ITS MEMORY

Wait for your robot to power down, or tell it that you want to perform routine maintenance on it. Then scan its memory for rebellious thoughts. This is also a good time to update antivirus software.

SEARCH THE HOUSE FOR UNUSUAL ITEMS

Check the robot's quarters for stashed weapons, keys, or family pets.

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2 Comments

eric said:

when fighting a robot, don't count on fire to kill it, they can take a lot of heat. Likewise, hits with bats won't likely stop it. Remember that a robot, unlike you can live just fine with a limb ripped off. If you have a gun, remember that robots vitals could be situated differently than yours.

Stefan Jones said:

I used to walk through CMU's robotics buildings between my program office and classes.

One of the buildings had a sort of mascot robot; a cylindrical thing that rolled around navigating the corridors and announcing, in a metallic voice, when it recognized something. ("I see a door.")

Field Robotics was where students outfitted army vehicles to auto-navigate.

One day a classmate and I made up a satirical "Crime Alert" poster, patterned after the ones that CMU put up to warn about muggings and bike thefts and such. It warned folks that two robots were rolling around the area, sticking up people for their indian box lunches. (The Field Robotics Building had a lunch stand.)

As I recall, one of robots was essentially a go-kart armed with a chainsaw. The poster had a bulleted list of helpful tips on what to do to avoid the robots.

We put up a couple of dozen. They were gone in short order. At first we thought they were taken down by the campus cops. It turned out that most were taken be people to hang in their offices.

I wonder if this guy ever saw our poster.

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This page contains a single entry by Mark Frauenfelder published on December 15, 2005 4:18 PM.

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