Redneck Words of Wisdom
I love redneck sayings, because they're funny and (often, painfully) true. This book, Redneck Words of Wisdom: Real-life Expressions, Advice, Commentary, and Observations from Some of the Smartest People Around... Rednecks, is a compilation of hundreds of colorful, politically incorrect, and downright filthy expressions that sum up just about every imaginable plausible scenario of the human condition.
Here are a few:
- I was as mad as a three-legged dog trying to bury a turd on an icy pond.
- It's harder than trying to stick a wet noodle in a wildcat's ass.
- It's kinda like puttin' gas in a car you've already wrecked.
- It's tougher than a two-dollar steak.
- Noisier than two skeletons screwing on a tin roof.
- That guy's harder to catch than my wife's boyfriend.
- Busier than a set of jumper cables at a Mexican funeral.
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Awesome. I've always wanted to have a few of these one liners up my sleave, now I can have a whole bunch.
Those lines are priceless! I must buy this book so I can add some relevant humor into my conversations with people from south of the Mason-Dixon Line. I also have another gem for you:
It's raining harder out there than a cow pissin' on a flat rock!